David Archuleta could probably cut the cheese and the American Idol judges would still give him a standing ovation. The youngest of the Idol contestants this year was pretty good on Tuesday but really, it was as if the judges were on auto-pilot to drool over him regardless of what he sang. They didn’t do this for Kelly Clarkson, and no offense, but David eats her dust. Idol has their paws on the recording contracts of the winners so it’s now a question on whether this is about talent or if David is more commercial and has a longer shelf life as compared to the others.

Rihanna is featured on the June 2008 issue of Elle magazine where, in the accompanying interview, the singer opens up about her hair, her father’s alcoholism and rumored boyfriend Chris Brown. On her father, she said “That was way, way, way back. We’re friends now. Now my dad is like the coolest person on the planet. He doesn’t smother me. He lets me live my life…” She also may have dropped a hint about the nature of her relationship with Chris Brown saying “We’ve always been friends, but we’re very close now.” And just how close is that? I wish she would just come out and say it.

I spent a little time this morning pondering some of the universe’s most difficult questions. How do we define existence without the constraints of linear time? Are quasars really at the large distances indicated by their redshifts, and if so, what about objects with discordant redshifts, like Stephan’s Quintet? How do we account for non-baryonic dark matter? Why am I face down in the front yard? Where are my pants? And — most importantly — what would you get if you crossed Lucy Liu with Joan Rivers? Thanks to the surgically-disfigured porn star Jenna Jameson, we never have to wonder about that last one again. My pants and the hyperspherical dimensions of space might take a little more time.

Those supervised visits with mommy apparently register as “terrifying” on the toddler distress scale, because Britney’s boys have been having nightmares ever since she came back into their lives. According to Page Six

Successfully rehabbed singer Amy Winehouse spent a rousting evening at London’s Bungalow 8 this week snorting shots of vodka. Also known as “Gas Chambering,” snorting booze allows the alcohol to be absorbed into the bloodstream almost instantaneously. A real time-saver for those on the go. Later that same evening, Amy then tried her hand at a funky new dance that’s all the rage with the kids these days called “The Dutty Wine.”

Lisa Marie Presley, the only daughter of Elvis, is expecting a baby this autumn with her fourth husband Michael Lockwood.

It will be the first child for Presley, 40, and guitarist and music producer Lockwood, 46, who were married in Japan in January 2006.

Meghan Lowther is so beautiful a model that Irish actor Colin Farrell (picture above) wanna hook up. But apparently, Colin Farrell doesn’t always score

Victoria’s Secret unveiled Biofit Uplift Bra in Los Angeles March 4, 2008. The picture shows Victoria’s Secret models Adriana Lima  and Karolina Kurkova posing at the launch event.

Recent rumors have spoken of a plot by Britney Spears’ mother attempting to gain custody of her troubled daughter’s two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

Apparently, Lynne is in talks with an attorney, which may explain her being spotted arriving last night at LAX airport with Jamie-Lynn (Britney’s younger sister).